Eating Ivan: A Closer Look At Verizon Strikers’ Marxist Meme

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Since going out on strike more than a week ago, the striking unions at Verizon have been targeting Verizon’s Chairman, Ivan Seidenberg.

Hundreds of union protesters staged a mock funeral procession in front of Seidenberg’s home last Friday evening and union front groups like the American Rights at Work have been slamming the Verizon’s CEO’s pay.

Stop Verizon Greed! screams the CWA.

Blasting company profits and executive salaries is a sacred and well-used tradition unions have used during contract negotiations for decades. As of late, however, the screed has even become a constant PR campaign for unions.

So, in an effort to give the unions their due (not to be mistaken with ‘dues’), let us all agree with the unions: Ivan Seidenberg makes too much money.

In fact, according to Forbes, Ivan made $18,166,006.00 in 2010. That, clearly, is too much.

So, let’s take it away—all of it—and do what the unions tell us should be done: Give it back to the workers.

Now, in order to be good members in today’s unions, we must repeat the following three times:

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

That should do it…

Here goes:

Since Verizon employed 194,400 employees at the end of 2010, redistributing Ivan’s income should be fairly straightforward.

$18,166,006 ÷ 194,400 = $93.45 per Verizon worker.

Now, if that $93.45 were to be put in every Verizon worker’s hourly pay, that would come to a whopping $0.04 per hour increase. That’s chump change, you say?

Well, let’s turn that chump change into something a little more meaningful, shall we?

Let’s just axe all of the top Verizon executives and take all their salaries and redistribute it to the workers.

Now, according to the aforementioned union front group, Verizon’s top five executives were paid a total of $258 million in 2010. So, spreading the wealth should be a pleasure here.

$258,000,000 ÷ 194,400 = 1,327.16 per Verizon worker, or a $0.63 per hour increase.

Not too shabby, heh?

The problem is, now that we’ve done away with Verizon’s top executives and redistributed their compensation, who’ll be left to run the 194,400-person company? Union bosses???

If union bosses end up running a company like Verizon, though, how long do you think it would take before those “record-breaking profits” became “record-breaking losses?”

Oh well, perhaps, President Obama will appoint a Telecommunications Czar.

Note to Verizon strikers: Strike if you feel you must. Fight for your cause if you feel it is worthy. However, using Marxist rhetoric to enlist support does nothing but make you sound like…well…Marxists.

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“I bring reason to your ears, and, in language as plain as ABC, hold up truth to your eyes.” Thomas Paine, December 23, 1776

Cross posted.

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