It cannot sustain a lengthened chase. Cocks don’t even deserve to be on this list of animal penises. I've discussed this a lot with my friends, and we've never reached a solid conclusion. Here you can see it using its penis to scratch its own back. This tool helps you to compare visually sizes of different objects. The giraf will notice you climbing unto stuff nearby so it might simply move away. When it … How Tall is a Giraffe – Giraffe Height Video Compare human vs Elephant vs giraffe vs Ark vs Ark height vs zebra vs Black Rhino vs fox visually. You are indeed where you belong. How Big is a Male Polar Bear- Male Polar Bear Size. Consider its size. Compared to the giraffe, human neck length is pretty paltry, to say the least. When it’s not flinging its ding-a-ling like Spider-Man shooting his web, it’s assumed the Argentine Lake Duck dangles its penis in the water like bait and tackle to attract small prey. A person’s heart is much smaller – the size of a clenched fist, and weights only 11 ounces. 2. human: in between 3. gorilla and orangutan: very faithful; Penis size (from largest to smallest): 1. human: longest and thickest penis (see page 33, Average Penis Size) 2. chimpanzee: in between 3. gorilla and orangutan: smallest (about an inch and a half when erected!) Length of Giraffe’s Other Parts of Body. An average human vs a giraffe I've discussed this a lot with my friends, and we've never reached a solid conclusion. But I also hate to break it to you, but your penis pales in comparison to that of a pig, or even a green sea turtle for that matter. Giraffes also wield not one, not two, but four stomachs! Have you ever seen the rodeo? While two male giraffes fight over a female, the Baobab pride plans an attack. It’s only two inches. Dolphins, known as highly intelligent creatures, have a brain size and brain-mass-to-body-mass ratio much like that of humans. It just comes with the territory. 385 to 410 kg. Edit: Forgot to say no weapons, just bare hands. Forget About Disheartening Animal Penises. The giraffe has an extremely high blood pressure (280/180 mm Hg), which is twice that found in humans. They can weigh as much as 155 lbs. Orangutan: 2 InchesThere’s a reason why orangutans often have that sad, meek look on their faces. You cannot deal with the range and speed of those giant hooves. To commence the sex, the female puts her butt right up to the male chimp’s face and waits for it to get a huge, throbbing three-inch power tool. The average length of both giraffe’s neck and legs is 1.8 meters i.e. See, that's what I've said. It has the largest penis in the animal kingdom proportional to its body size — a 50-to-1 ratio. 0/10 for the human. In 2007, a four-foot baculum was sold for $8,000 at an auction. Giraffe Vs Giraffe Deadliest Fight Ever Seen - Nat Geo Wild. And the popular Rothschild's Giraffe is essentially eliminated as a species or subspecies. The giraffe browses on the twigs of trees, preferring plants of the Mimosa genus; but it appears that it can, without inconvenience, live on other vegetable food. Pig: 18 InchesEver wonder where the term “hog” comes from? The size of its feet is 12 inches i.e. Girafffes fight with their necks and as such they are hugely muscular. Giraffes are the tallest living animals in the world, according to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park. Male Giraffes can reach up to 18 feet tall, and females can reach a maximum of 14 feet tall. A giraffe's legs alone are taller than many humans—about 6 feet . Like 97 percent of aviary creatures, roosters sport a different kind of genitalia called a “cloaca.” It’s a nub. You're not gonna choke a giraffe. Those necks are seriously muscular, and they're built to take hits from other giraffes. Hell, even some short range weapons wouldn't help all that much, Without Fire or tools, Giraffes take it every time. Comparative anatomy of giraffe's and humans cardiovascular system The Cardiovascular System Four-chamber heart Giraffes and humans both have a four chamber heart which allows us to send our de-oxygenated blood to the cleaners-the lungs-and our oxygenated blood to the rest of the Most likely scenario: Human attacks in some manner, one kick from giraffe and the human is fookin' rekt. For that reason, the anatomy of a giraffe is quite amazing. The average weight of a polar bear ranges from 849 to 904 lbs i.e. The Giraffe (Giraffa camelopardalis) is the tallest land animal on earth, standing up to 6 metres- 20 feet in height. 450 kg. This tool helps you to compare visually sizes of different objects. And keep doing this until you give up (giraffe wins) or it colapses. The reason for this is an excess of prenatal hormone androgen given during pregnancy, which eventually creates what scientists call a female “pseudo-penis.” Female hyenas have to give poo, pee and birth through this one-inch canal. Giraffe Vs Giraffe Deadliest Fight Ever Seen - Nat Geo Wild. To maintain adequate blood flow to the brain, giraffes have developed extremely high blood pressure, with estimates ranging from 180 to 300 mg Hg. And at their size, it would need to be a perfect shot to take them down. This will allow you to with some luck strike it's eyes or something vulnerable and let it destroy itself while it wonders where you have gone. thi" Bird penis in flaccid state curled up inside the cloaca. Much of that is due to its eye-popping turtle dong, which can grow to a highly respectable 12 inches. Silverback Gorilla: 1 InchGorillas are giant, marauding, nightmarish beasts that can break your legs like twigs. Even Charles Darwin thought it was hot, marveling at the sheer size of barnacle cock. with no weapons I do not see the human coming out of this alive. Team Giraffe. The Chelonia mydas is listed as endangered because it’s often the recipient of boat propeller bludgeonings; although, in theory, it’s possible for the green sea turtle penis to break cruise ship propellers if it gets entangled in them. Assume that the setting is a zoo, so you have the ability to climb up a rock formation or a tree to get at its head/neck, and also assume the giraffe is … Hansa Toys Life Size Giraffe Stuffed Animal 3.6 out of 5 stars 16. Come join our discussions, post your own battles and kick some ass! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, beat the living shit out of eachother with their heads, If you’re reading this site, odds are you’re packing mule meat. Boasting the largest baculum (walrus boner) of any land mammal, their penis bones hide under 2,000 pounds of fat only to be unleashed when a voluptuous female is nearby. monitoring_string = "f4e9a55d2640cb37b28a2b021fc63f8b"monitoring_string = "d597bbac21cf40e24fffa6cecdf4d8c5 ". I doubt your little manlet friend could choke him out if he tried. Barnacle: 25-50 InchesThere’s a reason why this immobile crustacean just sits there glued to a rock, needing not a job or a skillful pickup artist shtick. It stands almost 6 meters tall (19 feet) and can weigh up to 1,300 kilograms (about 2,800 pounds). A smaller population of lions lives in forests of western India. Testicle size (from largest to smallest): 1. chimpanzee: largest 2. Giraffe Giraffe vs. Human They eat shrubs, fruits and grass, with this fiber based diet they need a four chambered stomach, making them a ruminant animal. Your friend would end the fight falling from 15 feet in the air and finding a big giraffe dick in his ass. I doubt a human could squeeze hard enough, even if he could stay there. It snickers and points, boasting twice the size. Baby dick or bust, basically. Hyena: 7 InchesPsyche. Walrus: 25 InchesUrban Dictionary defines “walrus penis” as a “greasy big choad-like penis with extra foreskin.” Accurate. [2,3] In human societies, blood pressure seems to … A stub. Animal penises man, a new horizon to make us feel inadequate. The scientifically dubbed Oxygura vittata is known to extend its corkscrew-shaped appendage to “lasso” females. It lets its noodle wave around in the sea like a lonely tentacle, and the female barnacle opens up its egg-bearing cavity to let it in. Argentine Lake Duck: 17 InchesThe Guinness World Record for longest penis among birds belongs to the Argentine Lake Duck. However, my friends and I have had discussions about how to take down a giraffe quickly and easily. 7. Good write up, don't know if I'm convinced. The female hyena is more hung, more muscular, and as a result, more dominant than its male counterpart. Rooster: 0 InchesIt’s ironic they call it a cock, because roosters ain’t got none. Scaffolds were assembled using SOAPdenovo2 (v2.04) 57, setting k-mer size to 91 for the giraffe data set and 81 for the okapi data set, and enabling repeat resolution (-R … Assume that the setting is a zoo, so you have the ability to climb up a rock formation or a tree to get at its head/neck, and also assume the giraffe is … Chimpanzee: 3 InchesThe chimpanzee laughs at the gorilla behind its back. $21.99. The consensus? 53 cm. Tell your friend he's retarded. A little “cloacal kiss” transfers the sperm into the female cloaca. But my friend is confident if he could get up high, attack from above, avoiding the dangerous legs, and get to its neck that he could choke it out. when their born! They achieve this remarkable stature predominantly through their exceptionally long legs and incredible neck which can itself measure 2 metres- 7 feet tall. The average length of its tongue is 21 inches i.e. With such a massive body, it makes sense that th… At least it should. Tapir: 19 InchesThis jungle pig-horse is classified as endangered, which makes sense. Compare human vs Elephant vs giraffe vs Ark vs Ark height vs zebra vs Black Rhino vs fox visually. The plus side? Giraffe guide: species facts, lifespan and habitat. Polar bears found in Beaufort Sea have an average weight of around 992 lb i.e. Affiliate Disclosure: Evolve Media LLC, and its owned and operated websites may receive a small commission from the proceeds of any product(s) sold through affiliate and direct partner links. Shrew: 0.2 InchesThis rodent packs a pathetic 0.2 inches. Just how tall is a giraffe and how do they drink? My hands aren’t the same size because they’re at different distances from the camera, illustrating the age-old dictum that scale bars are not to be trusted. If you love to imagine the planet-exploding battles of the fictional gods who will never be, taking pointless knowledge gathered from a life spent reading and gaming and swinging it like a gladiator's sword in discussions on reddit... then welcome home, my friend. (not comic book standards, think marathon runner.) The only way it’s able to procreate is via a process called “spermcasting,” which involves casting its sperm into the salty sea and waiting for a female to catch it between her legs. However, as animal penises, not all barnacles are equal. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Does your friend realise that when two male giraffes fight they beat the living shit out of eachother with their heads? Male Polar Bear Weight. Animal penises sex novels are the future. The rooster will then flap its wings in excitement, dismount and strut away like Mr. Big Stuff. Sneak jump on to its back and quickly tie a zip tie around its neck as tight as possible then haul ass. The West African giraffe is a subspecies of giraffe, distinguished from other types by its light, tan-colored spots. That’s a clitoris. According to this new study, there are 4 distinct species: Masai giraffe (G. tippelskirchi) Northern giraffe (G. camelopardalis) 3 subspecies Giraffe, (genus Giraffa), any of four species in the genus Giraffa of long-necked cud-chewing hoofed mammals of Africa, with long legs and a coat pattern of irregular brown patches on a light background. (1,360 kg). At over five meters high, the planet's tallest land animal has evolved unique mechanisms to meet the metabolic demands of maintaining its huge skeleton. It has the largest penis in the animal kingdom proportional to its body size — a 50-to-1 ratio. Like the gorilla, the orangutan isn’t working with much. Giraffe tails are highly prized by many African cultures and are used in good-luck bracelets, fly whisks, and even thread for sewing or stringing beads. Giraffes can kick a lion's skull in iirc, so unless the average human knows to break the Giraffe's knees while it isn't aggressive, I don't see the human winning this. Whatever the case, those seven vertebrae dwarf the ones found in our bodies. Assume that the setting is a zoo, so you have the ability to climb up a rock formation or a tree to get at its head/neck, and also assume the giraffe is initially non-aggressive, but becomes aggressive once attacked. Erect giraffe penises are ytour feet long. Assuming it doesn't just smash you with its face. 1 offer from $1,624.90. The tapir boasts a jaw-dropping 19 inches. A giraffe was moved from Egypt to Paris at the beginning of the 19th century as a sign of respect, warmth, and camaraderie between the two countries. The only exception to this rule is the giraffe, which has evolved to have an elongated neck. The animal caused sensation and curiosity among the population since they were amazed by such large animal. Sure, if you hit them in the heart or lungs, they'll die, but not immediately. In fact, each giraffe neck vertebra may be as long as 10 inches (25 centimeters) [source: San Diego Zoo]. It would either throw you off and trample you, or smack you against a tree. 4 Species / 5 Subspecies List. Behold, ye pee-pee voyeurs of the Internet, a walrus going to town on itself. The world's tallest land animal has lost 40 percent of its population in just 30 years, and recent reports show poaching and … A giraffe can eat 63 kg (140 lb) of leaves and twigs daily. The pace of the giraffe is an amble, though when pursued it can run extremely fast. Curly and noodle-like, resembling its tail, the male pig has a notoriously impressive member. Take the Pacific gooseneck barnacle; its penis dwarfs in comparison. As you can guess, that doesn't exactly make for a light load to tote. 30.5 cm. Imagine a rodeo on a horse, capable of doing this: (Sorry about the shitty video). As another result of the long neck, a giraffe's blood has a long journey to travel. Compare human vs Elephant vs giraffe vs Ark vs Ark height visually. [Casual] Human vs Giraffe (All Welcome) Who would win in a fight ... At their speed, you'd be lucky to get 2-3 aimed shots before they cross the field. However, when looking at the anatomy of the human spine, you will find that, like the giraffe, humans have 7 cervical (neck) vertebrae. The following animals defy the laws of nature in the dick department. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Also, jumping on the giraffe is pointless. (680 kg), while males grow up to 18 feet (5.5 m) tall and weigh up to 3,000 lbs. The longest elephant penis can grow up to six and a long. The Human Neck Anatomy of the human Spine. While 18 inches is the longest pig penis ever observed in nature, their genitalia usually hovers around the 9- to 12-inch range. Even Charles Darwin thought it was hot, marveling at the sheer size … The giraffe cannon bone is 75.5cm long, and the brachiosaur metacarpal is 57cm long, or 75.5% the length of the giraffe element. African bull elephants hold the title of the largest relative penis size in the animal kingdom. Sharp object available: Still slim chances, but improved. Normal weight range of an adult polar bear is from 750 to 1450 lbs i.e. Female chimps are famously promiscuous, and they usually have more than three mates at a time. Other giraffes have darker markings. As you can see, even they are capable of knowing when they’re up to naughty business. This is called apophallation. The human has very slim odds, unless it has a sharp weapon or it is very clever and in tip-top shape. The animal's legs are also 6 feet long.Females grow up to 14 feet (4.3 m) tall and weigh up to 1,500 lbs. 340 to 658 kg. Native to temperate regions in the southern hemisphere, the tapir has a “prehensile” penis that is used to grip and grasp females who would prefer not to limp for an entire afternoon. Look how ashamed it is. Towering above its neighbors on the savanna, the giraffe is a mind-boggling feat of natural engineering. The size of its heart is about 0.6 meter i.e. Chase the giraffe around. This is actually a solid strategy, as humans have superior endurance and low energy cost for moving about. Baby giraffes, known as calves, are about 6 feet tall just at birth! A tiny stubby nub. 2 feet. Well, a specimen of Argentine blueshell duck had a Humans Differences We are omnivores, eating anything from plants to meat, with this diet we do not need more than a one A giraffe's neck alone is 6 feet (1.8 meters) long and weighs about 600 lbs. (272 kilograms). Even then, it'll probably just look down at the strange little ape punching at it's ankle and think "oi, stop it you.". 6 feet. Baby hyenas are two pounds. It came from a species of walrus that died out 12,000 years ago. The long and powerful neck of giraffes is their most characteristic feature, measuring up to 6.5 feet in length and formed by seven cervical vertebrae as in other mammals, including the human being, but with the difference that each of vertebrae has a large size reaching up to 11 inches. This Alex character does sound pretty macho and ripped, though, he might just be able to pull it off. Hilariously, the process of mating involves the rooster getting behind the hen, placing its feet on her wings, holding her down and forcing her ass up. With feet the size of dinner plates, they will give a swift kick to any predator trying to attack their young. According to this study, there are 4 giraffe species, with an additional 5 subspecies. It lets its noodle wave around in the sea like a lonely tentacle, and the female barnacle opens up its egg-bearing cavity to let it in. Have a big heart: The giraffe’s heart is 2 feet long, and weighs 24 pounds. Interesting to note that this mole-like animal, which is native to every continent on the planet besides Antarctica, has a penis only slightly larger than Bono’s. With the power of extreme height, even a giraffe’s legs tower above most humans at approximately 6 feet in length! No wonder they’re always pissed. Last scenario: Clever human in peak conditioning. Jocelyn The Giraffe - 22 Inch Tall Stuffed Animal Plush - by Tiger Tale Toys 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,065. Giraffes are the tallest animals on Earth. The only way you might beat it is by exhausting it - make it run for several hours until it collapses. You're fucked. Learn more: How Much Does A Polar Bear Weigh Male orangutans are twice the size of female orangutans and are, thus, often the recipient of rape. I imagine a giraffe would be able to thrash it's head quite a bit. If the giraffe is very agressive it might just turn at some point and kick your arse. Giraffes are the tallest of all land animals; males (bulls) may exceed 5.5 metres (18 feet) in height, and the tallest females (cows) are about 4.5 metres. In terms of evolution, there was never a need for the male gorilla to develop an impressive meat stick because females live in a harem and are given no choice on the matter. Banana Slug: 6-9 InchesThe Latin name for the common banana slug, Ariolimax dilichophallus, literally translates to “long penis.” This gastropod’s pud is the same length as its body, however long it grows. The larger genitalia of the chimp is due to sperm competition. They also have baby dicks. Its penis is so big, one would think it impossible to escape predators with an inconvenient fifth leg. Male pigs are also known to orgasm for up to 30 minutes, adding insult to injury if you’re a gilt. No weapons? 8. Green Sea Turtle: 12 InchesThe green sea turtle can weigh as much as 700 pounds. I scaled the two bones correctly in the above image. Males have thicker horns than females, and are taller. The heart can beat up to 170 beats per minute when a giraffe is running, but a resting/normal heart rate is around 40-90 beats per minute. Well, taken from personal experience, you can lure the giraffe's face to within arm's reach by placing a piece of lettuce or carrot between your teeth. (Giraffe skin patterns are like human fingerprints – no two giraffes are identical.) The lion (Panthera leo), also known as African lion, is a very big carnivorous feline that roams sub-Saharan Africa's many savannas, plains, woodlands, semideserts, forests, dense brush, scrublands and grasslands. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the whowouldwin community. Giraffe's Size, Height, Speed and Weight. Equally puzzling is that during sex, sometimes the penises of these slimy creatures get caught in the vagina, and the female chews it completely off, severing it for life. While the dolphin's brain weight is just above that of the human brain at 3.5 pounds, the brain makes up about 1.19 percent of the total body mass, slightly less than that of a human. Suffice it to say, the descendants of this primitive tusked sea cow got the lucky gene. Learn all about these impressively tall mammals, including key species facts, their diet and best places to see them in their natural habitat in our expert giraffe guide.