I'm very touched and happy to have you in my life." Over-thanking is in the same category as saying "I'm sorry" too much. Use an emoji: Using an emoji is a great way to spice up a reply to a compliment. When you thank someone over and over (and over), the "thankee" can begin to think something is required of him in return. I’m not even talking about the standard, expected “thank you” that you might deliver after being handed a salad/your fly-buys card/the remote control when ‘Duck Dynasty’ comes on and you feel the violent need to change the channel. But ordinarily, unless someone has given you one of their kidneys, I'd say one or two sincere thank-yous is really thanks enough. ©2020 Verizon Media. It’s been, without doubt, the toughest year of my life, and yet, I have so much gratitude that gratitude is literally spilling out of my eyes. That saying ‘thank you’ for work that you already expect employees to complete in some way diminishes expectations. All rights reserved. My husband doesn’t appear to possess the same kind of verbal thanking diarrhoea, so maybe it’s a girl thing? I'm not sure about the milkman, but I know the loss of social niceties is, in general, not a good thing. As Nick Bilton pointed out in his New York Times blog in March, there are a lot of people dashing off unnecessary thank-you emails. If the money was for occasions such as birthday, anniversary, graduation, or wedding, put the event before the word gift or money in the note, for example, birthday money, anniversary money, graduation gift, or wedding money. Complete with pitch inflections. We’ve put together 100 of the best thank you quotes. We're told from early on that we say them to be nice. (Well, it wasn't so much that she was invited as that she invited herself to tag along with mutual friends who were already going -- which is probably why she went a little overboard on the gratitude). It seems I’ve been meandering down the path for so long now that I’m incapable of stepping back. As long as it's genuine, it is not a problem. She didn’t even comment on how good my veins were and I had made special reference to them earlier in the session (along with good chat, I also give good vein, it’s genetic though so I can’t claim too much credit). If so, you don't have to thank me. 2. There is however, one thing that seems to throw a spanner in my effusive works; blatant rudeness, like the café owner who served me this morning and managed to glare at me witheringly when I dared to ask if he took card then proceeded to not only mix up the size of my order but the actual drink contained within. Saying 'thank you' and giving gratitude does not come easily for many people. In general, it is not said enough and we should be doing more of it. Saying thank you is a good thing and goes a long way. If you are very appreciative of something that someone has done for you, ‘thank you so much’ is the best alternative to ‘thank you very much.’ This phrase can be a little bit formal, depending on how you use it. Thank you.-Unknown Saying thank you is a good thing and goes a long way. (I counted my thank-yous yesterday when I was in the bank: It was a whopping five). During the three-day weekend, she made sure that whenever there was a shopping expedition, she chipped in. Thank you very much for inviting me!" After thanking the phlebotomist (great title) for accepting my referral and thanking the man in the waiting room for agreeing to let me go first, I then proceeded to continue the thanks all the way through the blood drawing session. We used to see how many we could get out of the waiter in one sitting...haha. Two or three sentences will be fine. ... "Me too, I had a wonderful time. I'm very thankful." I’m talking about the thank you that seems to have been plucked from thin air when there is no actual need for it to be uttered. I’m so thankful for everything you bring to the table. What is the correct amount of thanking? Definitions by the largest Idiom Dictionary. My husband got the giggles and I suddenly realised how often I said it! Ha, after two years of hearing it we now say, "Yrrr Wul-come" everytime one of us says it at the dinner table. He might begin to feel pressure to respond with, "It's nothing, don't worry about it," or "It's fine, I loved having you." If your conflicts are minor (your … Obviously it depends on the situation. The fact is, over-thanking can negate the whole purpose of a thank-you: to make the other person feel good. The same applies for the word sorry. Saying thank you is a simple and often overlooked way to show someone how much they mean to you. If you're not already a Mamamia member, sign up (it's easy, we promise). Old friends may not say "thank you" at all. We’re taught from toddler-hood to say “thank you” when we’re given something (whether we asked for it or not). For example, an office worker might send a group email to twenty people, attaching the minutes to a meeting, to which fifteen people press Reply (or worse yet, the dreaded Reply All) simply to write "Thank you." Know where to draw the line. “Should I tip him?” If you don't, at least say thank you. Years of honing my ability to yabber on has meant that there isn’t a barista, deli owner or, bizarrely, a librarian (I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time in libraries) who I can’t strike up some sort of conversation with. Not only that, but when you overuse a word it tends to lose its meaning -- then when gratefulness is really appropriate, the expression of it can ring hollow. Of course, modern technology tends to inspire an overabundance of knee-jerk gratitude. or situation. The fact is, over-thanking can negate the whole purpose of a thank-you: to make the other person feel good. I kind of feel a bit like that with “Thank You.” I’ve had a lot of reasons to say thank you in the past year. A desire to be liked and appreciated by complete strangers? As long as it's genuine, it is not a problem. Thank you for inviting me to share your special day. Depends a bit how you do it though, if my boss helps me, by giving me some advice on how to manage or situation, or for example, he did some numerical analysis for me this week because he is much faster and better at it than me, then I will say 'thanks very much for doing that, appreciate your time'. Yes, the caffeine was akin to downing an ice-cold bottle of water after you’ve been forced to chase a wayward dog through the front yards of three consecutive houses, but it was the chat that kept me going back for more. If you apologize too much, your audience will no longer accept it as legitimate. You can follow her on Twitter @NaomiCotterill, Facebook  or check out her blog notjustamummy.com.au. Apologize for your role in a negative event, but leave it at that. "You deserve so much more than just a thank you. There was a very comical scene in a restaurant where I was thanking the waiter for everything - the menus, water, topping up our drinks, bringing our meals etc - and each time I got a "you're welcome". What are you thankful for about this person? Words cannot describe how grateful we are. Most people feel that this is a waste of time; instead of being polite, you are actually annoying. Thank you for all the explanations, but I just found out (Thanks a lot, and thanks a bunch) are not equal to ((Thank you, or Thank you so much)) in normal situation, and they are used sarcastically, once you’re angry, surprised and so forth. And really, it could be a whole lot worse. To begin with, she brought two bottles of wine, as well as a "hostess gift" consisting of a large basket of gourmet cheeses, jams and syrups. I’m not talking about genuine “thank you”s, say, the type that might be offered when a kind stranger somehow manages to secure the leash of aforementioned runaway dog and remains upright long enough to relinquish it into your custody, without judgment of your dog ownership skills. Who decides on the quantity of praise? Melody Beattie Explains Gratitude. I say thank you to anyone who helps me - it's manners. Thank you ever so much for your generous gift. These days everyone seems to be bemoaning the disappearance of courtesy. He is so gallant that he routinely sends a thank-you note in response to receiving a thank-you note (true story, I swear). Gratitude Quotes. To thank those who have shared their knowledge, wisdom and experience with you, you could say: (18) Thank you for your guidance. However, it's not just thoughtless individuals causing the problem. Thanks were heaped on for showing me to the seat, for fastening the tourniquet around my upper arm and in final, undeniable proof of my issue, when the actual needle was inserted into my arm and attached to the plastic tubing used to collect the sample. People who overdo it however, may be doing it out of habit and it may appear fake/insincere. Search by recipient or sentiment to optimize your hunt for the perfect saying. They are accepting the compliment, but they don’t want to seem arrogant by just saying “thank you”, which sounds a bit like they are agreeing! It turns what we have into … A great way to elevate your thank you card sayings is by reminding yourself what … Only yesterday (and I wasn't born yesterday) did I recognize why we really say … Strangers may thank each other a lot. Thank you for the gift. What does can't thank you enough expression mean? 7. It's certainly arguable that -- in large part -- manners have been discarded along with land lines and typewriters and the milkman. I know someone who is the opposite of thoughtless. can't thank you enough phrase. It has come to my attention that I am a chronic over-thanker (not to be confused with an over-thinker, of which I am one as well, I’m just really down with the ‘over’s’ it seems). A desperate need to fill conversational blanks with words of appreciation? Your family is priceless, your time is gold and your health is wealth. The idea that saying thank you makes people more likely to help in the future is unsurprising, although the 100% increase is interesting, but what the researchers were interested in … Use it … Can a manager ever acknowledge, recognize and praise an employee too much? People who overdo it however, may be doing it out of habit and it may appear fake/insincere. Just like anything, saying a word/phrase too much can be annoying and diminishes the effect. When you thank someone over and over (and over), the "thankee" can begin to think something is required of him in return. There is no downside. Here are two examples: (still casual, between friends) Mum to one toddler, one staffy and two cats, you can usually find her blogging, baking or attempting to hide Peppa Pig DVD’s. I noticed that when I was there too, I think my waiter got sick of me saying it because after awhile he didn't respond. After all, she reasoned, she was staying for several days, so a "pre- thank you" gesture was completely appropriate, right? Sometimes you feel really, really grateful, and you want to show that. I give good chat. “Should I send a Thank You card in this situation?” Yes, you should. So for starters, I want to thank you." Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. I’m generally a friendly person. Where does this kind of thing end? It was a pleasure to be a part of your special day. Instead, you may make him feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. -Unknown “ If you only knew how much those little moments with you mattered to me. If it wasn’t for you, my grass would still only have half a hair cut. I used to walk my friend Beth home from our playdate, whereupon she would turn around and walk me home, then I'd walk her home again...The goodbyes took longer than the actual playdate. Unchecked, thank-you madness can also last forever, an interactive loop from which you can never escape. Reply to posting When saying Thank you is too much for some by Lady_T When dealing with the public - and even friends & family - I've found that most of one's expectation of immediate karmic reward, abundant display of gratitude, or any other dividend is a fast-track to utter, soul-crushing misanthropy. … At times the thank you's were in quick succession. Thank you for all the special things you do. To have good manners is to consider the emotional well-being of someone besides yourself, which is why I have often emphasized the importance of saying "thank you" to anyone who has done something for you. To thank someone for visiting your house, office, etc. Since thank you sayings date back hundreds of years, you can look to iconic phrases to help you communicate your appreciation. I told him this practice reminded me of when I was seven. I reckon motherhood also helped hone this skill. The morning of her departure, at breakfast, she expounded in an effusive manner about what a wonderful time she had had. Are you honestly worried about showing too much gratitude to the people in your life? Excessive gratitude can also cause an imbalance of power in the relationship; it can make the thankee question his own generosity. "Please accept my thanks and this card for all that you've done for me. When in doubt, just say thank you. Maybe I shouldn't have been quite that generous. They have a habit of saying "you're welcome" each time someone says thank you. It only takes a moment to say thank you – but your thoughtfulness will be remembered a long time.-Unknown “ Today be thankful and think how rich you are. Resist saying sorry, and try saying thank you instead. It is often difficult to say 'thank you', for a variety of reasons, especially the following main ones: 1. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. When I heard the whole story, I had to agree. (Damien Larkins)"Some women are worried about hurting people's feelings and causing offence," Ms Green said. I want to thank you for all the wonderful things that you … to see you in person, you could say: (20) Thank you for stopping by. Return the love. I realized that I was employing this technique during a pathology appointment the other morning. Saying thank you is polite, but also offering some flattery of your own is polite and … The gesture is made even more special when you’ve taken the time to include a small gift and handwrite a nice message in order to express your gratitude. Please sign in to contribute to the Mamamia Community. So, for example, if you said to someone “You look great in that dress” and they roll their eyes, smile and say, “you’re too kind”, they are doing an over-the-top impression of being humble. We say “thank you” too much. thank you very much phrase. A lot of the time, just saying “thank you” isn’t enough. Advertisement. Thank you for the ride, the drink, the sock, the compliment. I truly believe that the driving force that got me out of my Bonds breastfeeding singlet and maternity PJ pants was the desire to engage with another adult human for 10 or so minutes while I ordered my latte. Thank you for the meal. You can show your appreciation as part of a closing line. Never has one sought conversation so much as straight after birth. “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. So did you enjoy this piece? Recently a friend of mine was invited to a house party on Cape Cod. (Never mind automatic-reply Twitter DM thank-yous -- that's a whole other level of inanity). I’m now wondering what it is exactly that possesses me to be so enthusiastic with my thanking? The night she got back to New York, she emailed some photos taken on the beach, along with "many, many thanks." Multiply that by several times a day and you end up with a LOT of unnecessary emails to open. Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. The apologies become irrelevant and exhausted. As she was walking to the car to go home she thanked them again. The same applies for the word sorry. Your help meant the world to me. I came to this realisation when I lived in the US. Naomi is a former mag gal turned freelance writer and blogger. "Saying thank you seems hardly fair considering all that you've done. It's potentially unsettling. Definition of can't thank you enough in the Idioms Dictionary.

saying thank you too much

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